Meant to Be
by mrstrekkiemonster
Summary: Cal gets a call which means he has to disappear.  Will it bring him closer to Gillian or will misunderstandings drive them apart?
1. Chapter 1

**I found this on my computer and figured if I posted it I might finish it! I'm making stuff up for the purpose of this story. In Depraved Heart Cal's mother said she was going home to her children so presumably he has at least one sibling...**

The door to her hospital room closed softly. Gillian checked there was nobody else around. When she was satisfied she let the emotions she had kept in check flood out of her. Tears coursed down her cheeks, sobs wracked her body, so many emotions rolling around in her tired brain. She was scared, she felt overwhelmed, but she also had great hope. She thought back over the last several months. She still couldn't quite comprehend how she came to be where she was now. She thought back to how it all began...

...Several months earlier...

"Foster. Can I Have a word?"

Gillian looked up from her computer to see Cal standing in the doorway to her office.

She smiled and waved him in. "Sure" noticing the tension on his face she asked "What's wrong?"

"I have to go home, I mean back to England. My stupid brother has gotten himself into trouble, bad trouble, and he needs me. I'm leaving first thing in the morning."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Keep things going here. Stop Loker and Torres killing each other.." He paused and went to her taking her hands. "..and look out for Emily, yeah? I'm going to be gone a while, months maybe, and I may have to do things I could..." he trailed off.

She pulled him into a hug while she digested the information. She hated the idea of him being gone so long and having to do things he didn't want to, but she also knew he was going regardless of anything anyone could say to him. She knew he was loyal to his family and she admired him for it.

"I'll miss you" she said releasing him. "But don't worry everything will be just the same when you get back. Hey with me in charge things will be even better."

"Don't change too much or you might realise you can actually cope without me!...Nah. never happen!" he smiled "...Look I've got to go. Gotta see Emily"

"Ok" she replied "Tell her I'm here if she needs anything at all"

"Thanks luv."

She could see the gratitude in his eyes. She knew it made him feel better to think Emily could rely on Gillian. She also suspected Cal knew how much Gillian loved having Emily around. He turned to leave but stopped and kissed her cheek. "I'll miss you too."


	2. Chapter 2

11 pm. Gillian was sitting on her couch waiting. She'd hoped Cal would call. She'd hoped he'd have called at the office to say goodbye but she knew he was with Emily. He might not be able to contact anyone while he was away so she knew he was spending these last precious hours with his daughter. Still she hoped he would call. She was deep in thought when a knock on her door broke her reflection. She went to the door and couldn't help the huge grin that spread across her face when she saw who was on the other side. She threw open the door.

"Cal"

"'Ello luv"

She took his hand and pulled him into the house.

"Sorry it's so late" he said "Emily has just gone to bed."

"It's ok Cal. I understand. She needs you."

"I didn't want you to think I would leave without saying goodbye"

He pulled her into a hug and for a second considered never letting go. Eventually he did and she could see the mixed emotions on his face. She could see the fear of the unknown. He didn't know what he was getting into. The anger at his brother for the situation, also the fierce love for him. His sadness at leaving, not knowing when, or if he would be back. He saw her reading him and smiled. He reached out and touched her cheek.

"Don't worry luv, I'll be fine."

"Where are you staying tonight" she asked

"I was going to check into the airport motel. I left Em with her Mum so it's pointless being at home alone"

"Stay here" she offered

Relief and joy flooded his features. "Thanks luv. I don't really feel like being alone tonight."

"I know." she said simply hugging him again.

He put his head into her neck. She smelled wonderful. Her skin was so soft and he nuzzled it with his cheek. He kissed her neck just below her ear. He'd intended to stop there but somehow he kept kissing her. He kissed a trail down her neck and across her throat then back up the other side. He felt her sigh as he reached below her other ear with his lips. He pulled back just enough to see her face before gently pressing his lips to hers in the ghost of a kiss. When she didn't pull away, or more importantly slap him, he kissed her again. She deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. Somehow his hands found their way into her hair. Their kissing became breathless and desperate. Somehow they found themselves in her bedroom on her bed. Somehow they had managed to shed all of their clothes. They were clinging to each other as though their lives depended on it. Somehow they managed to find the courage to act on their fantasies that up until this moment had always been unspoken between them. They devoured every inch of each other and when they were done slept locked in a comforting embrace.


	3. Chapter 3

When Gillian awoke the next morning she didn't have to open her eyes to know he was gone. She had expected it but it didn't hurt any less. She opened her eyes and rolled over onto the empty side of the bed. At that moment her alarm clock went off signalling another day at the office. This wouldn't be just another day at the office, not when he wouldn't be there, not when she didn't know when he'd be back. Not after last night. Grudgingly Gillian dragged herself from the bed. She briefly toyed with the idea of calling in sick but she didn't want to arouse suspicion. She didn't want to face questions when she wasn't sure what was happening herself. She headed for the shower and reluctantly washed away any evidence of their encounter. She dressed choosing a sombre grey outfit that matched her mood and headed for the office.

For the next few months, everything at The Lightman Group ran smoothly. As Gillian predicted there was a lot less friction when she was in charge. Secretly she longed for a little excitement. She soon learned to be careful what she wished for as her personal life became extremely complicated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the short chapters but I'm suffering from writers block on this one! Thanks for all of your encouragement. It really helped. Especially sash queen of the jungle**, **lietomebaby,liebones and andromedaaiken who always take the time to review. You guys rock!**

4 months after he had disappeared from her life, Cal reappeared late one night. The problem was she wasn't alone. Hearing the knock on her door, Gillian was puzzled as to who it could be at nearly midnight. She opened the door warily. As soon as she caught sight of the person on the other side, relief flooded her body.

"Cal." she said simply her eyes roaming all over him to make sure he really was standing there.

"'Ello luv." he said giving her one of his lopsided grins. He stepped towards her in the doorway invading her space like he had never been away, but before he could take her in his arms another voice from inside the house caught their attention.

"Gill? Who is it?"

Guilt and disappointment clouded Gillian's beautiful features. She looked apologetically at Cal and half turned back into the house. She seemed to be struggling to find her voice. And then he appeared. Alec. Standing behind Gillian, a look of surprise followed by smugness, when he realised who was at the door. Both men glared at each other, barely concealed hatred in their eyes. Gillian looked from one to the other. Alec showing annoyance followed by happiness as it was clear his presence upset Cal. Cal showed anger and discomfort but also defeat. Gillian wasn't used to this expression on Cal. Immediately she tried to explain.

"This isn't...Alec and I are trying to..."

Cal held up his hands. "I shouldn't have come. Bad timing eh luv? I'll..uh..be seein' ya." and he turned and dragged himself down the path.

Gillian stepped out of the house calling after him, but he didn't turn back. She sighed in frustration as she watched Cal drive away.


	5. Chapter 5

Gillian tried calling Cal all weekend. She drove to his house but when she got there she could see Emily. Not wanting to intrude on their time together Gillian left. She desperately needed to talk to him, but she waited so long already another day or so wouldn't make any difference. She just hoped Emily would let anything slip before she had a chance to explain.

Monday morning. Gillian walked into the building determined to talk to Cal. She knew he would be here and probably arrived well before everyone else. She reached his office, knocked and walked in without waiting for a reply. When she entered the room Cal was on the phone. She paced back and forth while she waited for him to finish. Mentally she rehearsed what she was going to say. She was so deep in thought she didn't hear him end his phone conversation until she heard him say her name.

"Oi Foster, you're going to wear a bleedin' hole in my floor."

Gillian stopped immediately and turned to face him.

"We need to talk." she stated

"Sounds ominous." Cal rose from his chair "..but it'll have to wait. Places to go, people to see." and with that he walked past her and out of the room.

For a few seconds Gillian stood dumbfounded. Then she followed him into the hall.

"Is that it? After 4 months all I get is 'you'll have to wait'! Please I need to tell you..."

She stopped the sentence short not wanting to have this conversation in public.

Even from the distance between them Cal could read the anger and hurt on her face. His face softened for a second but then the mask was back and so was the Cal Lightman most people knew.

"Missed you too luv." he said with more than a hint of sarcasm and he turned a left.

He turned the corner to see Heidi coming towards him with a huge bouquet of red roses.

"You miss me too?" he asked gesturing to the flowers.

"They're for Dr Foster." Heidi told him. Cal was tempted to read the card that came with the flowers but he knew without looking who they were from. He shoved his hands into his pockets and stomped out of the building.


	6. Chapter 6

When Cal finally returned to his office it was dark. He knew the building would be mostly empty and he liked it that way. However when he reached the corridor that led to his office he could see that his lights were on and the door was ajar. He crept to the door and peered inside. Happily he saw Emily perched on the corner of his desk. He was just about to enter the room when he heard Emily speak.

"Have you told Dad yet?"

Cal froze and then he heard another voice. Gillian. "Not yet."

"Gill you've got to tell him."

"I tried but...I want to tell him gently."

Cal burst through the door. "Tell me what?" he demanded

Gillian and Emily both physically jumped. Shock and guilt written all over their faces. Cal glared at them both, intimidating them with his stare.

"Well come on then out with it." Cal turned to Emily. Emily cast her eyes down "Em?..No?" so Cal turned to Gillian "Foster?"

Both women continued to be silent. Cal could feel anger and frustration bubbling inside of him.

"Not going to fill me in on the big secret then?...Ok I'll have to figure it out myself." Cal scrutinized Emily's face "Is it about you?" he asked her reading her expressions.

Gillian rose from her chair taking Emily's hand and pulling the girl behind her. "Stop it!" she admonished him

Both women looked visibly upset and Cal knew he had crossed the line. For a second Cal's heart skipped a beat when he registered the fact Gillian was trying to protect his daughter but then resentment filtered through when he realised she was protecting her from him.

"I wouldn't have to do this if you didn't make my daughter keep your sordid little secrets." he accused.

He saw shock, hurt and disgust on Gillian and Emily's features.

"Dad!" Emily yelled.

Gillian squeezed Emily's hand. "It's ok honey." she said to the young girl

"No it's not!" Emily said turning on her father. She stared at him eyes blazing with fury

Cal was wondering when the two had become so close.

"Well excuse me if I'm not thrilled that my business partner is getting my daughter to keep secrets from me!" he said in a voice much calmer than he felt.

Gillian noticeably flinched at his words.

"Business partner! Dad!" Emily yelled "You can be such a...a...urgh!" she turned to Gillian. "Tell him." she urged pointing at Cal

"I don't think now is the best time Emily." Gillian said

"Will somebody tell me what the bloody hell is going on?" Cal said his voice losing its calm.

"Tell him." Emily repeated

"Tell me what? Christ woman spit it out all ready."

Gillian stared at him struggling to find the words she needed. She could feel Emily and Cal staring at her both sets of eyes increasing the pressure.

"Come on Foster! I'm losing patience!"

Gillian snapped. "I'm pregnant! Ok!"


	7. Chapter 7

Cal was stunned into complete silence. His mouth hung open as he stared at Gillian. Of all the things he thought she might say this was the last thing he was expecting. Several thoughts fought for dominance in his head unfortunately his mouth engaged before his brain.

"That's why you're back with Alec." he said.

Gillian gasped and tears sprung in her eyes. Immediately Cal wanted to take back his words as he read her face. Devastation. She ran from the room and a confused Cal was left with a furious Emily.

"I cannot believe you." she said.

"What!" he asked petulantly. "Look if she wants to ruin her life by being with Alec there's nothing I can do to stop her."

"That's not true Dad and you know it, besides what does Alec have to do with anything?"

"Well obviously they're back together."

Emily looked at her father and he could see pity. Emily realised he had no idea what was going on. She gestured to the chairs and they both sat down.

"No they're not. A couple of months after you left, Alec started calling Gill and sending her things. He wants her back but it's not going to happen."

Cal still looked confused. Emily took a deep breath.

"I know what happened between you and Gillian, Dad."

Cal stared at Emily, his face a mixture of shock and embarrassment.

Emily laughed "Relax Dad, I'm not mentally scared by the fact you have a sex life."

"Yeah? Well I'm mentally scared by the fact you even know the word sex." he ran his hands through his hair not quite believing he was having this conversation with his teenage daughter. "How do you know?"

"Gillian told me."

"She what?" he asked incredulously

"She thought I had a right to know."

"Why would you need to know the intimate details of my...you know what never mind!"

Emily looked her father straight in the eye. She wanted to be sure he would understand what she was about to tell him.

"She's 4 months pregnant."

For a second Cal looked blank but then Emily saw the realisation dawn across his face. He opened his mouth but found he had no words. He sat in silence for several minutes, thoughts tumbling around in his brain. After a while Emily lost patience.

"Dad!" she said breaking him from his contemplation. "Why are you still here?"

Cal had no idea. He jumped up kissed Emily on the cheek and pulled her from the room.


	8. Chapter 8

He dropped Emily off at her mothers and sped towards Gillian's home. When he arrived at her door he began hammering. After a minute or so Gillian came to the door and smiled despite herself at the sight that greeted her. Cal Lightman standing on her doorstep waving a little white flag.

"Truce?" he asked hopefully.

His hope was rewarded when she stepped aside to allow him entry. Cal stepped into the room and went to Gillian invading her space . He looked into her eyes hoping she could see how sorry he was.

"I'm an idiot." he informed her. "Now I know you're going to try and defend me, but hear me out."

"Go on." she encouraged.

"I didn't know." he said gesturing to her stomach. "When I got back and Alec was here..I just presumed..."

Gillian took his hands and lead him to the sofa. They sat together and she turned to him.

" Alec was here because he wants us to try again. I was trying to explain that could never happen when you showed up."

Cal grinned "So you're not back together?"

Gillian smiled at Cal's relief. "No there's been no-one since we...This baby is ours."

Cal's grin threatened to split his face in two. He reached out and caressed her cheek. He had so many questions he needed to ask but at that moment all he could think about doing was kissing her. Not wanting to be too presumptuous, which wasn't like Cal at all, he searched his mind trying to decide which to ask first. Seeing his indecision Gillian took pity on him.

"I'm 16 weeks pregnant." she told him. "I've had lots of checkups and a sonogram. The baby is healthy. It has all its fingers and toes. In a couple of weeks I'm having another one and they can tell me the sex if I want to know."

"Do you?" he asked

She lowered her head and he saw sadness and worry cloud her face. "I don't know. I would love to know but I'm afraid"

He didn't speak but tilted her chin so she had to look at him when she spoke. "I'm afraid if I find out I'll become more attached than I already am and something might...go wrong..." He saw the devastation in her eyes at this thought. He knew she thought of Sophie every day and everyday she missed her. He squeezed her hand. Suddenly a thought occurred to him.

"I don't want to sound stupid... but how did this happen?...I mean I know how it happened obviously but..I thought...you couldn't..."

"I couldn't. It was such a shock when I found out. At first I was scared to believe it. The doctors don't understand it. I had every test there was when I was with Alec and they said it would never happen." she smiled shyly "The doctor thinks I just needed the right man. He says it was meant to be"

She put her hand lovingly over her stomach.

He watched her thought that maybe that doctor was right.

He took her hands. "When you lost Sophie..." he squeezed her hands as she displayed sadness at the memory. "I wanted to make everything right for you. It hurt me to see your pain but I never imagined this... well it's a surprise but I couldn't be happier...for both of us."

Gillian showed relief and hope.

"While I was away I promised myself that I was coming home.. to you." Images of their night together swam in his head. The months he had been away had been hell. He constantly thought about her, dreamt about her and fantasized about her. That night before he left things changed between them. They were closer than they had ever been before and Cal had been devastated leaving her, but he'd had no choice. "I want to make this work." he told her. "Now I know I'm not the easiest person in the world but I have a feeling you could keep me in check."

Gillian smiled a genuine happy smile as the implications of Cal's words hit her. She leaned into him and kissed him softly on the lips. He put his hand on the back of her neck pulling her closer. The kiss became intense as they poured all of their emotions into it. Gillian rose from the couch and pulled Cal towards her bedroom. He eagerly followed trying to remove her clothes on the way. In the half light of her bedroom Cal stopped to admire the woman he loved. In just her underwear it was undeniably clear she was pregnant. A small baby bump forming on her otherwise slender figure. Cal dropped his hand to her stomach and stroked it carefully. She laid her hand on top of his and gazed into his eyes. He showed true happiness, something she rarely saw in him.

"I was always going to tell you." Gillian said

"I know. I guess we should talk." he said his eyes roaming the rest of her body.

Gillian laughed as she saw his pupils dilate. She kissed him hard and it took his breath away.

"Yes we should..." she said leading him to the bed. "...tomorrow,"

Cal chuckled "What ever you say luv."


	9. Chapter 9

...Back in her hospital bed a short cry pulled Gillian from her memories. She looked down at the pink bundle in her arms. Just watching her newborn daughter sleeping brought so many feelings to the fore. She gently stroked the baby's head and fresh tears pricked her eyes as she remembered doing the same thing with Sophie. Nothing would ever replace the daughter she'd had for a cruelly short time. She thought of Sophie every day, wondering what she looked like now, how she was doing, where she was. The hole in her heart could never be filled but as the new baby stirred in her arms Gillian felt the beginnings of healing. She wanted to ensure their baby was healthy and happy and above all she felt loved. The hope in her soul was the strongest emotion. She'd had her fair share of knock backs in her life and she had never lost her hope, but it wasn't always easy. Now she had so much to look forward to. A new family who she loved and who she knew loved her just as much. Tears of joys flowed when she thought of them. Growing up all Gillian wanted was a normal family, a happy family, and as she got older she could see that dream slipping away, but fate had a way of lending a hand. She was overwhelmed by the sensation of belonging to that special unit. Emily was thrilled when they announced they were getting married,(She said it was about time!). Underneath his I don't play but the rules exterior, Cal was a traditional guy. He wanted to marry Gillian before the baby arrived. He'd had fun tormenting their colleagues when Gillian's pregnancy became too obvious to hide telling them they were marrying to hide Gillian's shame and they had no idea who the father was. Of course they didn't need to be a company of deception experts to see through him. To see how much they loved each other and how proud he was Gillian was carrying his child.

At that moment the door to her room opened and she saw her husband appear. He stood in the doorway for a few seconds admiring his wife and child. She gazed at his face and saw all of her hopes and dreams reflected back at her. Cal crossed the room and sat next to them on the bed. He silently stroked the tears from Gillian's cheeks and kissed her softly. Without words he asked permission to take the baby. Gillian nodded and Cal took the child in his arms. Seeing his face full of unguarded emotion only strengthened her love for him.

"Where's Emily?" she asked after a while.

"Eh? Oh she's texting all of her mates. Your big sister is very proud of you." he told the infant. "Oh but she wants to know if we've decided on a name yet. Apparently baby is no good."

Gillian smiled "Jennifer Grace." she said looking at Cal to gauge a reaction.

Showing no signs of displeasure Cal thought for a moment trying it out in his head. After a minute or so he smiled a genuine smiled and said.

"Jennifer Grace Lightman, yeah I like it."

He pulled Gillian closer and kissed the top of her head. "You did good luv."

Fresh tears leaked from Gillian's eyes as her emotional rollercoaster started up again. "No." she said "It was just meant to be."


End file.
